timestranscript.com - Breaking News, New Brunswick, Canada

Falling Into Step

Wow, have I been slack!

As some of you may have noticed, I have been sadly neglecting my blogging duties as of late. As some of you may also know, it's because I'm a brand new Daddy!

My pride and joy was born 4 weeks ago yesterday, and I have been totally wrapped up in him ever since. I have never loved anything more than I do him and his Mommy, and she is nothing short of my hero for enduring what she did the night my little guy was born. The last month has been a whirlwind of late night feedings, days filled with dirty diapers, teary eyed amazement, and blurry eyes after sleepless nights. As hard as it is, I have never felt more complete in all my life.

Any routine I had developed in my life has been tossed aside, as I am now slave to every whim of the 10 pound little man who sleeps down the hall. I felt some sense of normalcy for the first time today when I got to watch the NFL Draft on TV; even though a lot of it was spent feeding, burping, and rocking my little Steelers fan to sleep. It's a small step for me, but it's a start, right?

It's the hunger for a return to routine that has brought me back to my love of blogging. I have so much to write, but have found no time to do it. That's gotta change. Going forward, I will do my best to have something here a couple times a week, at least, for those of you who still check in from time to time. I truly appreciate the opportunity that CanadaEast has given me, and I need to get back to fulfilling my end of the deal.

Anyhow, I hear stirring down the hall. Time to warm up a bottle and feed the monster.

See ya soon!

To Perturb and Neglect

I know I have been gone a while, but I have a great reason. I have a son now!

I'm getting back into the swing of things, so look for some posts again soon. For now, here is a letter to the editor of the T&T that will hopefully appear soon!

To The Editor,

Imagine this scenario:

You're driving along with your two week old son snugly buckled in his car seat on your way to pick your husband up at work. As you are preparing to turn into the parking lot off a very busy main artery, a pickup truck goes by with a large patio swing totally unsecured in the bed of the truck.

You watch in horror as a stiff wind catches the canopy of the swing and send it toppling over the side of the truck directly into the driver's side of your car - Smashing your side mirror, denting your hood and fender, and almost breaking your driver's side window.

You pull into a nearby parking lot - still shaken - check on your son, and wait for the driver of the truck to pick the debris from the swing off the road to join you in the parking lot while you call the police.

It should be a pretty open and shut case, right? The driver of the truck was negligent in securing his cargo; and as the driver of the car you should not be held at all responsible for the damage to your vehicle. At the very least, the truck's owner should be ticketed for failing to secure his load, right?

Anywhere else, this would be the case - But not in the "Bizzarro World" of Moncton.

This very situation happened to my wife on Tuesday afternoon. When the representative from the local constabulary arrived on the scene, she was bluntly told that no charges would be laid unless she wanted to appear in court to file them. On top of that, as the guy who hit my wife was clumsily trying to put his huge swing back in the bed of his truck - And not having much luck - the RCMP officer told my wife, "It's not my job to determine who is at fault".

With all due respect, Detective Ray Charles or Office Stevie Wonder could have seen who was to blame for this situation... And it wasn't my wife.

To the officer on the scene : If your job wasn't to determine fault, it certainly must have been to joke around with the driver of the truck after the accident or let him drive away with the swing still unsecured to hit some other innocent motorist - Because you were very adept at both of those things during your "investigation".

Because of this situation, my wife's insurance rates are now going to go up - Despite having a spotless driving record up until today. The driver of the truck? He walks away free of consequence.

The only "good" part of this whole thing is that neither my wife or child were hurt due to this display of sheer negligence. If they had been, I can assure you that my reaction would extend beyond a sarcastic letter to the Times and Transcript.

So there you have it. It's great to know that I can now throw anything from a furnace to a fiberglass canoe unsecured in the back of a truck and rip around Moncton without any regard for the safety of others. After all, I'll have the RCMP on my side!

Steve Malloy
Moncton

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance, is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, an excited woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor, the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more." So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

*snicker*

39 and Counting

Like a bucket of ice cold water dumped on my face in the middle of a deep sleep, the realization has hit me.

I am going to be a Dad in less than 6 weeks.

Sure, I was calm and collected about the entire thing up until right now. Through putting up a nursery, buying baby clothes, scanning little ultrasound pictures, and giggling through a breastfeeding class (I am as immature as you would suspect), I took it all in stride. I don't know what it was that set off the alarm bells, exactly, but somewhere over the last week I have realized that there's going to be a new little person living in my house that depends on me for EVERYTHING.

Does anyone know where I can buy a second-hand defibrillator?

We had our first of several baby profiles last week, and the little gaffer is a healthy five pounds in utero already. He has all his little fingers and toes, and is kicking up a storm inside Mommy's belly like there's no tomorrow. I didn't know what pure bliss was until I felt his little feet kicking against my back while Wendy slept the other night, and I almost can't go to sleep without it now.

Gifts have started trickling in for my son and his nursery - Including an amazing Steelers / Ducky quilt our great friend Lori hand-stitched and invested what had to be dozens of hours in, and the little guy's room has taken on the definite feel of a little person's home , instead of a collection of objects in a room.

This is really happening, and I would be a liar if I said that I'm taking it all in stride. I can't think of a time when I've been more excited / terrified in my entire life.

39 days... I hope my system can handle it.

Stupid Cupid

I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day... Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.

In all seriousness, I love her more than life itself, and I don't need a special day to tell her. In my life, I have fallen in love hundreds of times, and it has always been with her.

Happy Non-Valentine's Day, Wendy!

Man At Work

I have gone through this experience seven times in my life, and it never gets dull.

Today was my first day at a new place of employment.

After reveling in my new-found joblessness (well, I DID have a three day weekend), it was time to put the nose back to the old grindstone and join the working class again. I got dressed in my Saturday best (Sunday, I'm usually a slob) and got up bright and early for the day that lay ahead. I got a new notebook and some flashy new pens ('Cause nobody wants to be THAT guy who doesn't have any supplies) It was just like the first day of school all over again.

I didn't know what I would do when I got there... Who I would meet... If I would make any new friends. Would my backpack be the coolest? Would I have the "fastest" sneakers? The anticipation was almost unbearable! It was even more pointed today because I had left an industry that I had been a part of for almost 9 years to take a position I have long considered to be one of my "dream jobs". It was like leaving elementary to go into junior high (If only some of you knew how true that comment is).

How did it go? About as well as to be expected.

I got to spend a lot of time with one of the managers there, learned exactly what my role would be, and I did a bunch of reading and orientation type stuff while seated in a little kid chair... Basically everyone's first day on the job, right?

I was wondering whether or not I had made the right decision in leaving a comfortable position with my old employer - Especially so close to becoming a new Dad. After walking around all morning with a grin on my face and being unable to esacpe the "this sure is cool" feeling... I think my gamble is going to pay off.

Back In The Saddle

After a month in absentia, I figure it's about time to get back to writing here. Several factors contributed to my self-imposed exile - The lack of focus while getting ready for the baby's arrival, some overly sensitive folks whining about my choice of topics, and a job search which culminated in my leaving my former employer to start a new job tomorrow.

They say life is all about change, and I am the living embodiment of that old cliche right now. In all the upheaval going on in my life right now, I think I need a security blanket.

Welcome back, blogging.

Here's hoping you haven't forgotten about me!

Swamped

I'm not dead yet... Just really, really busy.

I had no idea there was so much prep work involved with welcoming a new little person into your home. I have spent the last couple of weeks browsing stores, scanning websites, and doing everything in my power to get everything I am trying to find for the little guy's nursery.

If I wanted to do it in a Winnie The Pooh theme, there's 4 million options, but rubber ducks? Good luck with that, Malloy.

I am also forced into moving the contents of three rooms of our house around to make room for the nursery, so I have created a new guest room, am in the middle of Wendy's home office/sewing room, and have no idea what we're going to do with half the extra furniture.

The funny thing is, I've never had more fun doing housework.

If anyone can keep an eye out for a ducky crib mobile for me, it would be appreciated!

I'll be back... I'm just not sure when.

The Day After Christmas Day

I know, I know. I promised a Christmas Eve post. I could make up excuses ad infinitum, but the fact of the matter is that I was just enjoying the season too much to write about it. So sue me...

So that's it. Christmas is over for another year. All the hustle and bustle, preparation and planning has gone the way of the dinosaur for another 365 days. How did I spend it? Let me tell you:

- Monday afternoon was spent, once again, in my Santa outfit as some coworkers and I paid a visit to a dear friend and coworker who was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months back and is currently going through chemotherapy. Some folks had decided that it would be a great idea to visit her for 12 days and bring her gifts and well wishes on each visit from her work family. The 12th day ended with a group of us congregated in her driveway, caroling up a storm, and gathering in her living room for hot cross buns.

Say what you will, but this is what Christmas is about. It's been a long time since I've been a part of somthing so special, and I thank the organizers for letting me be a part of it.

- Saturday night I attended a Christmas get-together at my boss' house and left with a bar stool - Compliments of my gracious hosts. This will come in handy for my drum kit when I finally get a copy of Rock Band for my XBox 360. I spent the better part of the last few days trying to get a copy of the holidays' hotest game, but local scalpers seemed to snap them up and list them on Kijiji for 3X what they paid. I hope Santa craps in their stockings next year.

- Wendy and I slept in for the first time this Christmas, opened our gifts, and went back to bed with Bettis in tow. We've realized that this is the last Christmas we will be spending without a wee one to dote on, so we took advantage of all the down time we could. Monday night we had a great evening trip around Moncton with Bettis to look at all the Christmas displays. I think the poor weather affected people's ability to decorate, because the normally impressive displays were few and far between this year.

As a side note, the baby hasn't been born yet and received 10 tmes the gifts we did. I guess we'd better get used to being the supporting cast for our soon-to-be arriving superstar. *grin*

We spent Christmas night with some friends, Wendy returns to work today and I go back Thursday. Like every year, after the pomp and circumstance dies down, life goes on.

It's funny. Even though our Christmas may seem uneventful by some standards, it only cemented how lucky I am to have the family and friends that I do. I am truly lucky.

Happy Holidays to you all.

Christmahannukwaanzakah Update

Wow. It's been a few days since I've been here, huh?

I attended Wendy's staff party over the weekend, and was asked by no less than 10 people why I haven't been writing. I have received at least twice as many e-mails asking the same question.

The truth of the matter is that I have no really good reason other than the fact that I'm just enjoying everything about the Christmas season.

I will be back tomorrow with a Christmas Eve post, as Santa Steve has one more Christmas gig to perform tomorrow afternoon that is going to make my holiday season really special.

I'll see you all tomorrow!