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BURN AFTER READING

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Tropic Thunder

When a computer disc containing memoirs of CIA analyst Osborne Cox (John Malkovich) is discovered by blundering Washington, D.C., gym employees Linda and Chad (Frances McDormand and Brad Pitt), the two plan to blackmail Cox so Linda can afford cosmetic surgery. Since the Coen brothers are directing the passage, the journey from point A to point B skips merrily across unalphabetized territory. Laced into the mix is ex-Secret Service agent Harry (George Clooney), who's having an affair with Osborne's wife (Tilda Swinton). The ingredients sound tempting, but the dish left strange flavours lingering in viewer minds and mouths. Few moviegoers were astounded, and many rated it so-so. For aficionados, this may be a perfect-pitch walk through the bizarre, but most were left with strange looks on their faces. Viewers said: "Just loved it" . . . "Slightly insane" (many) . . . "Crazy" . . . "Hilarious until the ending" . . . "Typical Coen brothers work" . . . and "Very good black humor. The cast is a plus."

RIGHTEOUS KILL

New York detectives Thomas Cowan (Robert De Niro) and David Fisk (Al Pacino) investigate the murder of a pimp and begin to believe a vigilante cop is doing their jobs for them. This tediously drawn out crime drama succeeds only in showing two actors gradually age on screen. Comments included: "Pretty good suspense. I didn't have it figured out at all" . . . "Totally fell apart at the end" . . . "Disappointing, considering the great actors" . . . and "Didn't do anything special, didn't go anywhere special."

THE WOMEN

Based on the Clare Boothe Luce play, clothing designer Mary Haines (Meg Ryan) learns her husband is cheating, sending the rallying call to magazine editor Sylvia (Annette Bening) and her circle of friends. No men in this film, but look for Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett Smith, Candice Bergen, Bette Midler, Carrie Fisher and Cloris Leachman. An unabashed chick flick, this comedy stresses empowerment and other female issues. Some good laughs, a few knowing nods. Viewers said: "Funny throughout" . . . "The whole no-man thing is great" . . . "Very entertaining" . . . and "Get the girls and come on down."

BANGKOK DANGEROUS

Nicholas Cage topped the weekly box-office derby once again, demonstrating how such a statistic only reflects the moviegoers' empty wallet, and not their empty feeling leaving the theatre. Its dismal 19th-place finish proved box-office numbers aren't always proof positive. Assassin Joe (Cage) takes a trip to Bangkok for four "business meetings." He recruits worthless pickpocket Kong (Shahkrit Yamnarm) to serve as his lackey during his stay. Surprisingly, Joe begins to mentor his worker while romancing a shop girl. The hardened killer appears to be softened by his teaching duties, love and the city's exotic Asian beauty. Has this bad guy gone all baby powder? Cage's mopey characterization supplemented with marginal action helped earn a terrible 36 per cent Audience Approval; you can skip this one without remorse. Viewers said: "Nice movie, but bad ending" (many) . . . and "Same old story except for the ending. The first half is more like Cage's cool style."

DEATH RACE

It's the familiar wasteland of the future where that lawless fellow from "Transporter" and "The Bank Job" injects his best somber conduct into Jensen Ames, an ex-con who is framed for murder and sent to Terminal Island prison. Warden Hennessey (Joan Allen) tells Ames that he can win his freedom by entering the race. But Ames discovers it was the Warden who murdered his wife and set him up. Driving a car equipped with firepower equivalent to the U.S. Army, Ames faces three days of ill-tempered convicts racing across the island's scarred terrain. He is accompanied by his beautiful navigator, Case (Natalie Martinez) and a pit crew led by Coach (Ian McShane). Action and revenge is a combination made in grisly heaven. Hot babes, explosions, ghastly casualties and the sweet smell of payback earned a must-see 84 per cent Audience approval from sated observers. Our pit crew concluded: "The plot is so bad, but the action is great" (many) . . . "The car crashes are excellent"!. . . and "Ain't violence grand."

TROPIC THUNDER

Self-absorbed action star Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller) leads an "A"-list cast in a Vietnam War film that accidentally sets the characters off into real drug-war action, transforming them into genuine soldiers. Five-time Oscar-winner Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.) has undergone skin pigmentation to make him appear black. Comic Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black), whose stardom has been forged by flatulence jokes, is suffering withdrawal from his heroin addiction, mood swings that are suited perfectly for Black's acting style. Supported by several surprising cameos, the film ignites many rounds of audience laughter, but then suffers through a number of overly long and unfunny stretches. Viewers said: "Funny movie. It started great but as it went on it got pretty stupid towards the end" (many) . . . "There were so many funny cameos" . . . "Tom Cruise was really funny" (many) . . . "It was funny at times, but too hokey at times too" . . . "Robert Downey Jr. stole the movie" (many) . . . and "The funniest movie I've seen this summer."

n The Big Screen, written by Bob Habes, appears in Life & Times each Friday