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"Be in this place, a place that can leave you speechless and somehow speak to you forever: New Brunswick."

So says, if you will recall, that fancy one-minute TV advertisement which indeed rendered us all speechless -- maybe with awe, possibly puzzlement -- when the province launched its $8.8-million 2008 tourism campaign six weeks ago.

And folks, I am here to tell you the early results are in and indeed we are still in a speechless place.

But, before I attempt to describe the quality and degree of my own personal place of speechlessness, I would submit, humbly, a word of advice to Tourism New Brunswick's website designers.

The word 'infamous' does not mean 'really, really, extra super-duper famous in a most delightful kind of way' or anything even remotely like that.

It means, my dear befuddled bureaucrats, very, very, very bad, as in 'the infamous Adolf Hitler,' or perhaps more appropriately for this column, 'Paris's infamous Bois de Boulonge, frequented by the putridest prostitutes, weirdest weirdos and nastiest ne'er-do-wells Europe's seamy underbelly has to offer.'

Is this what the New Brunswick Department of Tourism not only believes -- as clearly stated in its newly revamped website -- the "infamous" Magnetic Hill 'to be,' but also believes tourists will want 'to be in?'

Perhaps not; perhaps we should give the department credit.

Perhaps, our website wunderkind hold a rather low opinion of 'this place' and are advising potential visitors to 'not be in it' unless they relish the prospect of desperately attempting to roll up, up infamous Magnetic Hill and away from a rag-tag gaggle of Moncton's infamous Hill-dwelling panhandlers, poutine-hawkers, zombie zoo-tigers and Ward 3 election candidates.

Now at this juncture, in anticipation of the aforementioned wunderkind protesting that I make too much of a magic mountain of this magnetic mole-hill, the snide crack the department makes about "infamous" Magnetic Hill is just one among numerous wonders I encountered yesterday as I negotiated the site.

This, in an attempt to find information about a little tourism draw unfolding up on the Hill on Aug. 2 of this year.

Finally, I am gratified to report, there are now numerous links to The Eagles on the site. The problem is that, so far, I am having trouble following them to anything other than numerous opportunities to look at eagles -- the bird, not the band -- along various New Brunswick waterways which include, to the department's credit, Petitcodiac River, which is reasonably close to Magnetic Hill.

Nonetheless, we were promised by the department three weeks ago that tourists, in a matter of mere days, would be able to read all about the Eagles concert on this website and get their summer travel plans nailed down.

Now, I choose not to believe the Department of Tourism really hates Moncton. That's even though Saint John's Reversing Falls are considered, in the website's own words and therefore presumably in the bureaucratic purview, to be in fact "famous" rather than steeped in infamy.

Most cities appear to get equally shabby treatment.

Indeed, any attempt to find any musical event of any kind in most of New Brunswick's eight cities this summer is, on this website, an electronic journey worthy of an eagle-hunt up New Brunswick's infamous Spit Creek, and without a paddle yet.

Rather than a simple calendar with concerts listed beside each date, the designers take us on a journey along one of five 'trails' upon which tourists -- some of whom might not actually live in New Brunswick -- are apparently expected to anticipate the location of cities, valleys and hills, both infamous and otherwise.

Incidentally, Moncton is located on the Fundy Coastal Drive with Saint John at one end and Moncton at the other, where in August this year we are informed we can choose among the Fundy Fog Festival, Saint John Idol or Streetbeat, all in Saint John, or part of a summer concert series in nearby St. Stephen.

I am informed by the Department today, incidentally, that the newly revamped website -- undertaken in an outside contract with the Saint John branch office of Toronto-based web designer T4G -- will be "officially launched" next week but can now be considered complete.

Late in the day I was still attempting to get word from the department about just how much of this year's $8.8-million tourism promotions budget -- $1.8 million of which is designated specifically for improved Internet promotions -- was dedicated in turn to this particular website contract.

One can only hope it is sufficient to cover a subscription for this company to one of New Brunswick's fine daily newspapers -- any one of which might have informed them that the Rolling Stones concert on the Hill generated an estimated $15 million for the New Brunswick economy in 2005, that The Eagles, for which 50,000 tickets have already been sold, might reach similar numbers with a little promotional help from the Department.

In fact, those numbers might put The Eagles right up there with Saint John Idol as a significant musical tourism event this summer.